Where we've been

 Apple picking with our house group. Our house group consists of exactly two other couples. Our church, a big, charismatic Anglican church--lovely in so many ways--does not do house groups. I don't know why. So many new and old couples we talk to bemoan the lack of community and ease in meeting others. But for some odd reason, we don't have a way to form real community. Our Bishop just started pastorates, which I think is modeled on HTB in London. I think one of the issues is that the leadership of our church is TIGHT and perhaps they think by default the rest of the church experiences the same ease in connection? I don't know. When people ask about it, they are encouraged to join pastorates, which are between 30-70 people. But I digress. So, last year, we started our own house group with one other couple. Then we managed to add one more. This is Carlee. We went apple picking together. Most of the good apples had been picked over. So we soothed ourselves with fresh apple cider and homemade donuts.

Here we are (represented by Harry, I guess) at Sonny Acres farm in West Chicago. It's one of those places that has lots of rides and games that cost tons of money, then they sell you overpriced, misshapen pumpkins. The kids had fun. I always get nervous putting them on those rides that look like they've been set up in a half hour by 16 year olds. But everyone survived. 

 Look at Brice with his short sleeves. We had such a lovely, warm fall. I thought for sure this was a sign we'd have a nice, normal winter (not so). But we enjoyed it while it lasted. Don't they both look like they're working so diligently? Do all younger kids try to skate by on the hard work of his or her older sibling? Perhaps. Maybe we should push him harder, but frankly, we enjoy the easygoing, chillaxing way Harry approaches the world. This picture is 5 seconds before he abandoned his pumpkin and moved on to the real work of the day:

 Harry meandered his way to the front to fake-ask Seth if he needed any help raking (as if). Then took a nice long nap in the sun, laying on the leaves Seth spent a couple hours raking. It's good to be king. 

 Halloween. The pizza guy is our sweet neighbor Dallas. I managed to convince Brice to be a ninja instead of a (wait for it....) skeleton. He said he really liked it, but next year wants to be a skeleton again (what is it about skeletons??). Sigh... Harry went as Darth Vader. Neither of our kids have seen Star Wars yet, but they know Darth Vader. It was in the 40s when they went trick or treating. Harry, of course, lost his light saber along the way. Then they came home, ate dinner, had some candy, got into a fight in the bathroom and went to bed crying. Oh, Halloween!!

 Visiting my parents in Grand Rapids. I'm always so pleased when I get a shot of my dad and/or Brice smiling at the camera. Both of them are usually staring you down or being goofy. This time I told them to make silly faces and dad just smiled and Brice stuck his tongue out. Fine, i'll take it. Harry is looking off into the distance, but that's totally normal. Do kids ever reach an age when they look at the camera and do a nice, normal smile? 

 Here we are getting our Christmas tree at the Cosley Zoo. Growing up, my brother was allergic to the real thing, so we always had fake christmas trees. Now it's always a big treat to go get a real one. I love the smell and how the branches sag with each ornament. We never manage to secure it to the top of the van with any precision, so we usually drive exceptionally slowly and stop several times to shove it back into place. 

This was at Brice's Christmas musical. At the end he was walking by and Harry rushed up to hug him. Last year, he didn't wait that long and ran up to him while he was singing with his class and gave him a big bear hug. Has there ever been an older brother who wasn't unreservedly worshipped by his younger sibling? 

Dad and Brice. Smiling. 

Celebrating NYE with our house group. Seth and I have always gotten Chinese take-out and a nice bottle of champagne on this night. So everyone came over with their kids (7 in all) and we had takeout and champagne and whatnot and just ate and laughed and talked until midnight. We told the kids they could stay up to watch the ball drop, never thinking for one second they actually could make it that long, but alas, they did. So at midnight we had 7 little indians lined up in front of our small tv, with plastic flutes of sparkling grape juice and we welcomed the new year all together. 

 Harry reads a book, his very first, to my mom. Harry is very artistic and creative. He loves music, dancing, building, coloring, etc. Anything that involves beauty and creating. But being the younger brother of a kid for whom all things academic come ridiculously easy has not been easy for Harry. When something is hard for him, instead of sticking with it and pushing through, he tends to run from it and refuses to engage. This makes learning a bit tricky. His teachers at Montessori are great about letting him do things that he loves and things that build his confidence, before introducing more difficult concepts. This year after he's done his map-making and printing and math work, he's been taking these BOB books to a quiet corner and working them out on his own. And lo and behold, he's reading. Well done, Harry. 

 This winter we took the boys downtown for little mid-winter getaway. We always choose a hotel with a pool then hit one of the museums for the day. This year we went to the Art Institute. After a few close calls with some paintings (can you say, "two inches from touching one of the most famous paintings in the world"?? Heart Attack!) we went to the children's wing. Much better.

Seth turned 40 on Valentines Day. We'd been talking about how he wanted to celebrate and we finally decided on a party at our house with Indian food. We ended up with that, Mexican, a Crave Case, dumplings, a margarita station and a keg right next to the kid's stuff (I had to do a smell test before I sent them to school on Monday). We had a full house and full hearts. God has been good to us and so generous when it comes to friends. 

Harry's got his eye on you, world!

Where We've Been

So yes, it's been nearly a year since i've updated. I think the time goes by so quickly--and the days are filled with such quotidian, mundane tasks and occurrences--that it never seems like it would be remotely interesting to anyone else to hear of our happenings. But having been thoroughly harangued by enough friends, i've decided to catch up on the past year. Here goes. And yes, it's all out of order. Of course. 

Harry and Brice at Halloween. Harry is wearing the exact same costume he wore last year. He wore a different one to his school parade, but since that was a total disaster, we were both happy to toss that back in the closet and choose one with better memories attached. Brice. Oh, Brice. Every year we say "nothing scary!" and each year he chooses some form of a skeleton. But I swear that he did not wear this mask when actually trick-or-treating. 

This year I outsourced the coloring of the Easter eggs. Both sets of grandparents were in town for Easter so I "let" them help the kids color eggs. "You get to color eggs with the boys!!!" They knew exactly what was going on, but were still troopers and more patient than I would have been. Harrison was baptized at the Easter Vigil that evening by our Bishop, so it was really lovely that both sets of grandparents could be there. 

This is from when we volunteered with Greater Chicago Food Depository. We really want the boys to start learning that the world doesn't begin and end in Wheaton and that people in need don't live far away from them. Brice has been talking about it ever since. He worked at our station for a bit, but then ventured out to collect the stragglers (like his brother, see below) and organized them around a different project. 

I am not a crafty person. I don't own a glue gun. I've baked and decorated cookies with the boys exactly once. But this year they begged an impressive amount, and I began to feel like the Grinch. So, one day I pulled on my big-girl pants, sat them both at the island, and cranked up A Charlie Brown Christmas. And we made cookies, homemade frosting, and decorated it all with sprinkles. Then we made this monstrosity. Full Disclosure: Seth did the Christmas Tree with them. I was tapped out by the time this rolled around. But we all survived and might even go for it again next year. Ho ho ho.

This is the kids sledding with friends in May. Ok, maybe i'm exaggerating, but have you heard about the winter we had? It did actually snow IN MAY. But not that much. This was around the beginning of the year. Each kid took their sled pod and the dads took them all sledding. 

Brice and Scully snuggling. They are the best of buds. The first year having a puppy is not too dissimilar from adopting a wild animal. There were many times I questioned my sanity in getting one. He bit everyone, barked constantly (that hasn't changed), chewed up every single shoe in the house, chewed furniture, cupboards, you name it. He took a full year to potty train. But he and Brice have a really sweet relationship now and I often find them laying on the floor snuggling in the morning. Totally worth it. 

This is Harry in the fall with his "ready confetti" that his teacher gave to all the kids to put under their pillow the night before school started. The school turned out to be a disaster. Harry, like his brother, was diagnosed with adhd. And going to a "normal" school just didn't pan out. He couldn't sit still during circle time, acts younger than he is, has some sensory and fine motor issues, and just didn't "fit." And what's worse, he knew it and felt it. We were really blessed to find a local Montessori school that had space for him and he began there in January. It's made all the difference for him. He went from being upset and withdrawn for months to being the sweet, happy, easygoing Harrison he's always been. 

I love Fall. I love everything about it. The light coats, the crisp air that smells perfect, apples, leaves, cider, just everything. We went way north to our favorite orchard where they have a huge variety of apples, plus pumpkins, a petting zoo, a small train for the littles, and a great little restaurant. There's just no better way to spend a Saturday in October. 

I love this picture. You can tell exactly how Harry feels about wearing a silly hat and posing for a picture. His teacher framed this for him and let him take it home. He took it out of his backpack and tossed it into the back of his closet. So there! I think it was an extension about how he felt at that school in general. I love the shirt he's wearing here. His grandmother had it made in China for him and notice they didn't manage to spell Spider-Man correctly. When she pointed this out to the guy he said, "it's okay! Look, the shirt says, 'Don't worry.'" 

Flu Season. Seth got hit the hardest and was out of commission for a week. And even then was barely hanging on. The boys didn't have the flu, but got something a bit milder. I made everyone wear masks. I was the only one, mercifully, that didn't get sick. But then our washer broke and I spent the week running back and forth to our laundromat. Of course, right?

This is Harry's best bud, Lucy. He went off to Montessori with a lot of nervousness and Lucy made him feel right at home. Here they are at DuPage Children's Museum. Lucy is a strong-willed, outspoken and take-charge kind a gal and Harry is quite charmed by it all. 

Over spring break, Brice went to stay with my parents, and I had Harry all to myself. One day we decided to have a picnic with dad at work. We laid out a proper blanket and had a nice spread.

I took the boys to the zoo and we went to the Children's Play Area. Brice headed straight for the desk and pretend computer. The place was full of animals, face painting, gardens, yet B heads straight for "the place where the Boss sits." World, you have been forewarned!

Seth's parents came to visit in April. Their birthdays always fall on the time they are with us, so we took them to Bob Chins to celebrate. This is one of those legendary restaurants that is so hyped you assume it can't possibly be that good. But it was. 

This is Harry on the last day of school. He just could not stand still when I want to take a picture, so this is the best I could get. I feel like after a disastrous beginning to the school year, we found a great fit and got our happy kid back. He's got holes in his jeans, tattoos up his arm, a lollipop in his mouth, and a smile on his face. Perfect. 

I Don't Miss It. Not One Bit. (just a little)

I was going through my blog the other day. The early parts. When I was mostly miserable, trapped in a condo with screaming children (i'm not exaggerating). It was a post about our first outing, I think. I was talking about how miserable I was and how it was going to be virtually impossible to ever leave the house, given that Brice was an angry 19-month-old who ran like the wind every time he hit the sidewalk. And Harry was a miserable shreiky 2-month-old who had to be wrestled into a carseat. And then both had to be dragged down a flight of stairs. And then, after the walk, after they had broken me and I was sweaty and sobbing, I had to drag them both back up the stairs. God, I start craving a drink just writing that.

At the end of the post, I made some comment about how I should enjoy it, or at least try to, because I knew I would miss those days. I meant it when I wrote it. But i'm happy to report: I really don't miss it. I think back on those days and I don't miss it.

I think somehow, in the midst of it all, I did manage to enjoy the sweetness. I remember how Harry felt in my arms, how soft his skin was. I remember nursing Brice in the mornings. Seth was still sleeping. Harry hadn't arrived on the scene yet. I would feed Brice and then rest him on my legs and smile at him and he would laugh and grin. Brice would climb into the fridge whenever I opened it and look back at me with that look that said: I'm getting away with something. He thought he was. But he wasn't. I delighted in nearly everything he did.

And yes, life became super stressful shortly after. Brice was recently diagnosed with adhd. But it wasn't a surprise. We knew something was "not quite right." Tantrums that go on for hours. Every day. Anger and aggression. But also extreme intelligence. And sweetness. Soulfulness like you've never seen. This was all beginning to surface right around the time Harry was born. And the condo was falling apart. And Seth was working HOURS at his job. And it was all hard, so hard.

But it was also good. Harry was colicky for 3 months, but after that, you couldn't ask for a sweeter kid. When he smiled, it was like the sun rising. He was so easy to comfort. He smiled with his whole face. He just LOVED. Everyone. I can still feel him in my arms and smell him. He had crazy hair that stood up straight. He was like Kramer. So yes, times were hard. And I felt it all. But it was also sweet. And I felt that, too.

So maybe that's why I can look back and not miss it. I remember how hard it was, and remember the sweetness in the middle of it. I don't miss the pain of that time. But I was present for all the good and I ate up all the sweetness. I "treasured up all these things and pondered them in my heart" like Mary. I didn't miss it while I was in the middle of it, so I don't miss it so much now. I'm enjoying our life as it unfolds. They are becoming more and more who they really are. They are lovely and beautiful, brilliant and funny. They are completely their own people and yet, fully ours. Even when they leave, which they will and they should, nothing will be lost. They will always be ours. All our sweet memories. And all the shining of their potential. Completely their own and always ours.

Epic Road Trip 2013

This past January, or something like that, we decided that our next road trip would be to Texas. At the time, the Grand Plan was to head straight to Dallas, gather up Tim and Marci and their littles, and hit the road caravan-style. This is the narrative I got excited about. 

But then, it turned out that Tim's work was going to mess with our plans and they had to head out to Louisville (their own yearly vacay) earlier than expected and they wouldn't be able to caravan with us. Then Seth's work schedule messed with us. I'll spare you the exceedingly boring and annoying details and just say that at one point, we were thinking about just touring around Michigan. 

But I just couldn't let go of my Texas dreams. I wanted to drive around Texas, nevermind that Tim and Marci wouldn't be in Texas at any point and nevermind that our vacation would be in August. August in Texas. Only slightly cooler and less humid than Hell itself. But I prevailed. Texas it would be. 

Our first stop was in St. Louis. We stayed with Andy and Shelly for two nights. They did the unthinkable this past December and moved away from me. Whatever. We took Kylie and visited the St. Louis, imho the best zoo in the country. And it's free. And it's so cool. Brice got to see a Komodo Dragon finally. 

The kids ride the train around the zoo and I got to pretend that I have three children. It was totally easy. 

The sea lion exhibit. You've got to go to this zoo. It's free--like the Lincoln Park Zoo, but way better. 

After St. Louis, we went to Tulsa to spend the night. But frankly, Tulsa was uninspiring. It was a stop-off just to save us the trek straight from St. Louis to Houston. It was hot, humid, and the fajitas were terrible. So I didn't post a picture. Boo to Tulsa. The above picture is on the Bolivar Ferry in Galveston. We drove onto it and then got out to feed the birds. SO fun. It was little Hitchcock-y, but mostly safe. The kids liked it. 

We drove off the ferry and hit the beach. There were maybe 7 people on the beach at most. And you can drive on it. So we let the kids try their hand at driving. 

From Houston we hit San Antonio. This is a city I was not thinking I would like. I loved it. It was gorgeous. It was at least a million degrees, but still. We had a rooftop pool that served margaritas. We never went to the Alamo. We went to Sea World one day during a heat advisory. A Texas Heat Advisory. We are midwesterners. We complain when it's 85 degrees. That day it was 104 degrees with 100 percent (I might exaggerate) humidity. It was so hot the Texans stayed away. But we loved it. The shows were beautiful, the rides were cold and wet with no wait time, and kids were in good spirits. 

Seth's brother Tim gave us suggestions along the way for bbq places to try. This is Kreuz Barbecue. It was AMAZING. World Famous. Have I mentioned how much we ate on this trip? And drank? Prime Rib? Yes please!! Shiner? Yes!! Margaritas? Two!! We were like Chilly Willy on a tour of the Lone Star State. 

After San Antonio we headed over to Dallas and stayed at Tim and Marci's house. This is B&H checking out the frogs and geckos in their front yard. There's a whole different set of wildlife in Texas. 

This is Harry having a pony ride at the Mesquite Rodeo. 

At the rodeo. The boys were mildly interested, but pretty psyched about the free hotdogs and root beer. In the middle of the rodeo, they had all the littles go into the ring and chase the calves. The first to grab the ribbon off the calf won $20. It was a train wreck. There were at least 150 kids, all bigger than our kids. Harry got hit in the head, Brice couldn't even see the calf. Both were inconsolable by the end. So we left the rodeo early. Good-bye Mesquite Rodeo, we hardly knew ye.

Ok, so finally. We met up with Tim and Marci and Luke and Georgia at the Peabody in Memphis. We had adjoining rooms. Yea! As soon as we got there, we headed to some famous bbq place across the street. We waited, along with four children, 6 and under, in a hot, humid, crowded alley for almost an hour. The kids were patient for the first half and slowly morphed into wild animals for the second half. We did manage to get in, placate them with food and drink, and get out before we got kicked out. The above picture is just us at breakfast the next morning. Someone has pictures of our epic wait, but not me. 

Marci and Georgia at breakfast. She's the only girl cousin and SO STINKIN' CUTE. Love her.

So, the big to-do at the Peabody is the duck march. At 11am they march them from their rooftip digs into the elevator and to the fountain in the lobby. It's a big deal. We got there 45 minutes early and by the time the elevator opened, I was hot and claustrophic and trying to find a place to stand. Apparently the ducks booked it to the fountain, because I never even saw one. Literally, 4 seconds to the fountain. Still cute. The kids like it. 

The day has arrived (finally!!)

Yesterday Brice started First Grade, which means, among other things, that he is in school all day. ALL DAY. Like, from 9am to 3:30pm. I have been waiting feverishly for this day since shortly after Harry was born. And the screaming, fighting, fussing began. Brice is a child who craves knowledge and structure and interaction and immediate rewards for following rules. Kindergarten, with its short hours and phonics lessons, was a major disappointment for him. And this summer he was all stressed out about starting school. He's a bit of a worrier and often a worst-case scenario kind of kid (don't know who he got that from; ahem...) So, I wasn't really sure how he'd fare. We visited the teacher the day before and while he seemed to like her, he answered all her questions while standing behind me, trying to stay out of sight. 

In the morning, we all walked to school together. His friend Corey from Kindergarten was also there, so they stood in line together and waited for the bell. We waited too and waved good-bye as he marched into school with his head down. I would have said something encouraging, but I was in tears, as was Seth. We were quite a pair. Thankfully Brice didn't notice. I picked him up at 3:30, unsure of what I was going to face, but as soon as he jumped in the van he announced, "school is amazing!!"Then he regaled me with tales of the lunchroom, the gym class rules, all the kids in his class, how cool his teacher is, etc. And of course, I teared up. Today when I picked him up, I heard him say under his breath, "I can't believe I get to be in first grade." Look out world!!

Yesterday, he had to fill out a little questionnaire. Here are a few of his answers:

What are looking forward to learning? Why reptiles can climb up walls without hanging onto anything.

What is your favorite number? A googol (seriously)

What is your favorite game? Chess

Who is your favorite musical artist? The player piano at the Peabody.

What are your goals? Learn to juggle, learn to whistle, and eat fire (???)

Good Luck, Mrs. Miller!!

A little love note to start the year off right.

Ready to launch!

Walking to school in the already 90 degree heat.

Brice and his friend Corey.

Standing in line. It took all my restraint to not grab him and cover him in kisses. He would have been mortified.

Whatever you do, DON'T smile!!