Happy Half-Birthday, little man!!!

Our little guy is growing up! Harrison is 6 months old, as of yesterday. After a rocky start, he's turned into the sweetest, happiest little guy. He's got a big smile and even bigger thighs. Love that!! Happy half-birthday, little man. Here's to many more!!!

He's got his father's eyes and his mother's gag reflex

Poor Brice. He wanted to help feed Harry, and we wanted to encourage any non-violent gesture on his part. I handed him the spoon and just as he gently laid the spoon in Harry's mouth, his eyes started to water and those all too familiar pre-barf convulsions started. Seth cleaned him up and he came over and wanted another try. (Why we allowed this, I still cannot tell you.) He didn't even make it to Harry's mouth this time. He walked over to Harry and immediately threw up. In one of my "mother of the year" moments, I shoved Brice back so he actually fell on his bottom while throwing up. (To stop him from throwing up on Harry's face; hey, I had to make a "which is worse?" decision quickly!!) After Seth cleaned him up, we still weren't sure what the trigger was, so we just handed him the bowl of completely non-offensive oatmeal. Bingo. Brice immediately started gagging. Poor kid!! He's a kindred soul!! I heaved and gagged my way through the first 9 months of diapering Brice. Now, we have to try and keep Brice occupied when I feed Harry, as he'll started gagging if he even sees Harry in the high chair. Hopefully this is just a phase (but probably not).

I'm tired.

So very very tired. I'm tired of Seth working 60+ hours week after week after week. I cannot remember the last time he came home before the kids went down. I'm tired of not eating together. I'm tired of having to share him with his office at least part, and usually a large part, of every weekend. I'm tired of Brice. I'm tired of fighting with him. I'm tired of him hitting and scratching and biting and throwing a tantrum all day. I'm tired of him screaming when he gets disciplined. or when I hold Harry. or when I say no. or just to get attention. i'm tired of not being able to go outside without carrying two children down the stairs. i'm tired of not being able to go outside without at least one of them screaming on the way down, and both of them screaming by the time we all get in the car or get the stroller set up. i'm tired of carrying two children UP the stairs while Brice throws a tantrum. i'm tired of doing everything by myself. i'm tired of going to bed by myself. i'm tired of wondering when all this will end and there will be peace and balance in our house again. i'm tired of not sleeping through the night. i'm tired of dreading the sound of waking children in the morning. i'm tired of hearing, "baby, i really need to get into work early in the morning." i'm tired of being tired. i'm tired of not being able to hang out with my friends. or go to church. or go to housegroup. or being able to relax with a book. i'm tired of not feeling like myself. i miss me. and God. and Seth.

Oh no she didn't!!!

Today I took Brice and Harry to Fantasy Kingdom, an indoor play area in Chicago. They have lots of toys, dress up areas, trains, play cars, etc. And they have slides. Two pretty big ones. And you have to climb up a castle to get there. Brice, of course, was fascinated. He's a bit new to the whole slide thing. He's gone down the one at the park a few times. But usually Seth is at the top to help him, and i'm waiting at the bottom so he doesn't go flying off and smash his head on the ground. Today Brice climbed to the top of the castle by himself (well done, son). I figured since I could only be in one place at a time, I should be at the bottom. Well, I got down there and Brice was peeking his head down at me and giggling. A little scared to take the plunge, I think. He did this for about 30 seconds, then I heard a girl say "Go!!" and she shoved him down the slide. The poor kid came careening down the slide in ball, since he'd been crouching at the top when this pig-tailed monster set him flying. Thankfully I was at the bottom to catch him, but he still smacked his forehead on the slide. 

I cannot fully describe the anger and rage that rose up in me at this little girl. I was FURIOUS. I yelled at her up the slide and a couple mothers came running to see if it was their daughter. Shockingly, her mother wasn't one of the ones who came to see if it was her daughter. Big surprise. I know I should hold it together better. I know she's just a kid, too. But it's more than anger at badly-behaved children. It's a desire/compulsion to protect Brice from the harshness and cruelty of other children. I know I can't do this forever. And I shouldn't. I should be there to hug him after he falls, not to make sure he never falls. But as yet it's just been him and me. He's just getting to that age when kids are going to start ripping things out of his hand, shove him over, be mean, etc. We're considering signing him up for preschool a couple mornings a week. And it's this issue that's giving me pause. I'm afraid. Afraid of him smiling at a kid and the kid sneering back at him. Afraid of him playing with something only to have it ripped out of his hand. I want to protect him from that. I want to protect him from that far more than I want to protect him from falling or getting sick or, whatever. I'd much rather he breaks a leg playing with a friend than gets his spirit broken while playing with a "friend." Dang. This is when it gets hard, isn't it? It's exhausting to chase him around and make sure he doesn't get hurt here. But it's crushing to let him go and trust God to care for him in all the ways I can't.

What to do, what to do...

Here is my dilemma, one faced by pretty much every other parent, I think: what do you do when you have a new(ish) baby who is napping twice a day and a toddler who naps once a day?? Now that the baby is becoming somewhat regular, they tag team their naps and it isn't until 4 or even 5pm that they both are done napping. So, does the baby get robbed of his two naps in order to just roll with the toddler schedule, or do you honor the baby's need to sleep and you and the toddler are stuck in the small, second floor condo all the livelong day? The weather in Chicago is turning brutish so it's not great weather to go out in anyway, but it'd be nice to have the option. So, parents of two little ones, or parents of one who have a second coming (that's you Mike!), what do you do???